2010年6月18日
Raising a Genius Child (Feedback)
Hi team,
Thanks for your comments. Before I discuss the topic, here are some pictures of the waterfall I told you about the other day. It is actually much bigger than it looks in the photos, and it really is amazingly beautiful. If you ever have a chance, I highly recommend that you go and see it for yourselves. (It's in Gifu.)
By the way, all these photos were taken on my lovely new phone :-)
Getting back to the topic, of course, I don't know anything about raising children, but I remember one experience from my own childhood that illustrates an important point. One day, I told my mother when I got home from school that the teacher had said we were going to do logic problems the next day. My mum said, "You'll be good at that because you are very logical."
Actually, I turned out to be terrible at mathematics, but I went to school the next day presuming that I was going to be good at these problems because my mother had said that I would be. Starting out with an attitude like that is really helpful because as someone once said, "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right"!
I think adults sometimes forget how powerful words can be to children. In this case, my mother's words were a huge positive force for me, but it is easy to see how an adult's words could have an equally negative effect.
Anyway, here is some feedback on this week's comments:
I believe raising genius children needs a lot of money.
(I'm not 100% sure about this at the moment, but I think this should be either "I believe that raising genius children requires a lot of money" or "I believe that you need a lot of money to raise genius children." I don't think that a clause like this one can be the subject of "need." I'll read it again tomorrow and tell you if I change my mind.)
Low income families can't afford to have their kids take piano lesson, modern dancing lessons, send them to soroban juke, swimming school, let alone hire a private teacher who works for Nanzan Uni.
(This is a very nice sentence. In particular, note the use of "let alone" if you are not familiar with this phrase.)
David, if I were Mrs Matsumiya, I would like to be called "this lady" because the word "this woman" sounds like 「この女」 to me.
(Tricky. I see your point, but "this" has a different usage to "kono." For example, when you introduce someone in English, it is quite normal to say, "This is Mrs Smith." [I made the mistake of saying これは… many times in Japanese.) As for the "lady/woman" distinction, many people nowadays object to "lady" and prefer to be referred to as "woman.")
When I was a 6, I really wanted to take piano lesson, so I asked my mother to do it.
(...so I asked my mother if I could do it.) [By the way, I saw a concert on TV today with the NHK orchestra and a pianist called 小山. Her first name ended with 恵, but I couldn't read the other kanji. She was absolutely incredible! She played the whole concert without any sheet music at all, and the piece she was playing (Rachmaninov) was unbelievably technical and complicated. The pianist just looked as if she was having fun!]
Sounds like you had a hectic time since you forgot about your keys but it turned out to be a wonderful encounter with extraordinary people.
(Very nice. If you don't know the word "hectic," please take note of it. It can be used in sentences like:
Things have been a bit hectic recently.
It's been hectic at work this week,
etc.)
All 3 of my sons are not showing any of those talents.
(None of my 3 sons has any of those talents.) NEGATIVE SENTENCE WORD ORDER
So my husband and I just prayed and wished he grew up healthy.
(prayed and wished that he would grow up healthy.)
They always thrill me and surprise me because they appear to be talented a lot.
(they appear to be really talented.)
Was it like a Japanese ratsnake about 2 metre long?
(I don't know what kind of snake it was, but it was grey, and it was indeed about 2 metres long.)
Finally, could you do me a favour? If you have an extra time and if you don't mind, please summarize the hot discussion on your seminar last Saturday, in particular, what points did some teachers disagree with what you were saying?
(It's very long and complicated, but basically, I was saying that a lot of the "communicative" exercises that high school teachers are encouraged to do in English classes these days are actually a waste of time because students simply do not have enough time to make any real progress. They are also of very limited use because students do not have the language skills necessary to do them, and there are so many students in each class that it is impossible for teacher's to monitor and give feedback.)
because I have no child
(because I have no children) PLURAL NEGATIVES
You know what I like you about is, even though you are a famous person with a lot of teaching experiences and high academic achievements, you are not snobbish at all. You do make same kind of mistakes as I do, forget about keys etc…Those sides of you make me feel you are friendly person who is easy to talk to.
(Thanks, but I don't think I could claim to be famous! If I told you all the stupid things I do every day, I would never have time to write about anything else! I went to the 7-11 the other day to buy some milk. Only milk - I didn't need to buy anything else. The 7-11 is about 5 minutes' drive from my house, and when I got back, I realized that I had forgotten to buy - the milk!)
I have to ask your permission in advance. If I write some inappropriate or unpleasant things in my comments, that's not what I intend to. That's because of my lack of English knowledge.
You know sometimes misunderstandings happen even when we talk in our mother tongue.
(This is one of the most difficult things about learning a foreign language. The strange thing is that it becomes more of a problem as you improve, not less. When you are a beginner, people realize that you have just made a mistake, so they don't get offended. When you reach higher levels, however, people presume that you know what you are saying and they think you are being rude deliberately.)
I think that's enough for today. Thanks for writing such long and detailed comments.
Have a great weekend, and I will see you on Monday.
David
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Comments
Hi David,
Thank you for the photos. I had a look and liked them a lot. You are right. I should go and see it for myself. It’s really beautiful!!
Thank you for your feedbacks. I always learn something new ;-)
>I think adults sometimes forget how powerful words can be to children……
I see what you mean and totally agree with you so we should be careful when we talk to children.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
amo
- amo
- 2010年6月19日 00:36
Hi Amica,
Yes, that was her name. Is she famous? (I don't know the exact name of the piece, but it was very, very long!)
Hi Amo,
Have a nice relaxing weekend.
- David
- 2010年6月19日 00:54
Hi everyone
Many people correct their mistakes in their comments.
I don't even notice my mistakes.
Talking about mistakes, I've just read English phrases which David had collected ,of April edition of EJ.
Those phrases are really eye-openers.
They informed me that I use so many wrong words or make mistakes.
For example, I often say "I'm very fine"
The worst thing is I told my students to answer "I'm very fine" if you are really 元気 when someone asks you "How are you?"
Oh no I am a terrible teacher.
I think people like me who don't have so much experiences of staying in English speaking countries,
make those mistakes.
I have to study English more by reading David books, reading his blogs.
Hi David
Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos.
And thank you very much for your feedbacks. I learned a lot from mistakes that you had picked up from our comments.
So your line "When you reach higher levels, however,people presume that you know what you are saying and they think you are being rude deliberately" tells us very important point.
We should be very careful in our saying in that sense.
good night.
Fumie
- Fumie
- 2010年6月19日 01:36
Hi everyone and Fumie,
I always feel the dilemma.
間違いを気にしているとしゃべれなくなるし、使って指摘されて
気づくこともたくさんあるし、いつもジレンマとの戦いです。
改めて、”英語じょうずになる事典” ですね。(^_^;)
今日は日本語で失礼します。
Kazu
- Kazu
- 2010年6月19日 04:05
Hello,
I think the pianist you are taking about is 小山実稚恵さん(Ms. Michie Koyama).
A.
- Applehead
- 2010年6月19日 07:56
Thank you Applehead.
- David
- 2010年6月19日 09:10
Hi Kazu
Thank you for your comment.
I think this is a controversial topic.
Should we keep in silence to be on the safe side
if we aren't sure what we are trying to say is correct or not, or should we dare to talk anything which came up to our minds.
In my case, I don't even understand basic English but I want to use the phrases which I had learned on TV or somewhere.
自分の、また相手の性格にもよりますよね。恥をかいたり、誤解をうんでも積極的に話すか、疑わしい時は黙っているか。
どちらも一長一短ですね。
Fumie
- Fumie
- 2010年6月19日 12:32
Please remember what I said before: if you would rather I didn't correct your comment, please just write something like "Please do not correct." Thete is no way I can remember who wants to be corrected and who does not, though, so please write it every time you make a comment. If nothing is written, I will presume that you don't mind being corrected:-)
- 匿名
- 2010年6月19日 13:08
Hi team,
I was back from Hollywood but it's not a place in California, it's in Florida.
I don't think it's a good idea to go to Florida at this time of year. It was really humid and hot.
Hi Anne,
How was your trip to DC and NY ?
I think you might want to visit Spy Museum again.
Have a good weekend and don't miss the game of Samurai Japan.
- Appoh
- 2010年6月19日 13:21
Hi Kazu,
アメリカで暮らしているとイライラしますよ。
「何でこいつら英語しかわからないんだ！」ってね。
しかも、彼らは英語しか話せないのはもちろんのこと、英語以外の言葉が世の中に存在することが、本質的にはわかっていない人が多いです。そんな人はノンネイティブに対する気配りなんて出来ません。
私は電話に出るとき、わざと「Bonjour」って応答してます。
フランス語には彼らはちょっと怯むようです。おもしろいですよ。
機会があったら是非お試しあれ。
- Appoh
- 2010年6月19日 13:46
Hi David,
I always appreciate your corrections and am looking forward to your feedbacks. As you know, I use English at my office every day. I don’t have any friends correct my English but you. Since you correct our English, I am sure my English is getting better than before. I used to take some time to write an email at work, but now it does not take so much. To tell the truth, I would like you to re-write all my comments, but I know it’s too much to ask. Anyway, I want you to know what I really rely on your corrections.
Take care,
amo
- amo
- 2010年6月19日 13:59
correction
Since you correct our English, I am sure my English is getting better than before.
→Since you started correcting our English, I am sure my English is getting better than before.
Hi Amica,
I am not familiar with Classical music. Even so, I sometimes want to listen to it. I am writing this comment, listening to my favourite pianist, Evgeny Kissin ;-)
- amo
- 2010年6月19日 15:42
Hi David,
Yes, she is famous. The piece she was playing was very long? All of piano concerto are very long!（笑）
Hi Fumie,
I'm sorry, I have not said hello to you yet. I'm Amica. Nice to meet you!
Hi Appho,
「Bonjour」? Ha ha ha! You are funny!
少し違うかもしれませんが、私はセールスなどの電話がかかってきたら、わざと舌足らずな声を出して「おかあさんがいないので、わかりませ～ん」と言います。え？アラフォーのくせに図々しい？ごもっともです。
Hi amo,
Of course, I know Evgeny Kissin. His performance is great.
Amica
- Amica
- 2010年6月19日 16:09
Hi David,
Thanwks for your feedback, which always open my eyes wide to English. I've been to Shiratori in Gifu to see skunk cabbage (English name sounds strange.) 水芭蕉 are lovely and pretty flowers.
Hi everyone,
I harvested potatoes and plums in my mother's field today. I made juice mixed with plums and honey, which is really healthy. (Because they are chemical-free.) In hot and humid summer, it's necessity for my family. For tonight's dinner, I cooked "じゃがバタ” using fresh potatoes. It was so delisious with beer.
- Carrie
- 2010年6月19日 20:30
訂正
AppohじゃなくてAppohですね…。また間違えちゃった。
Appoh、ごめんなさい！
Amica
- Amica
- 2010年6月19日 20:46
Hi Amica,
Don't worry about it.ですよ。Ahoって書かれなくてよかった。
アラフォー同士元気にいきましょう。
時々足がつる年頃になりましたけどね。（笑）
- Appoh
- 2010年6月19日 23:28
Hi Fumie,
Kazuは積極的に恥じをかくようにしています。
そのほうが英語覚えますもん！
Hi Appoh、
vice versa, 日本に住んでる外国人も、「何でこいつら日本語
しかわからないんだ！」って思ってますよ、きっと(^_^;)
I can't even speak English correctly let alone French.
Kazu
- Kazu
- 2010年6月20日 05:40
Hi David
Thank you for your feedback.
I am also very much appreciate your kindness to take your time and correct our mistakes.
It's always a lot to learn.
I think most of us want to correct our mistakes because we don't have that opportunity.
As for me, I'm not that vulnerable since I'm an
大阪人.
Most people relatively talk straight here.
大阪ではみんなけっこう思ったことはっきり言います。だからいちいち気にしていたらしんどいです。
So again, David, Thank you very much for correcting our mistakes.
I really appreciate your generosity.
I'll write here 1comment that David had written on EJ which striked me a lot.
英語は世界で１番単語数の多い言語です。自分らしい、オリジナルな表現を使おうとする欧米人の「個人主義」が背景にあるのかもしれません。
That's make sense.
How many words I remember, I always encounter
unfamiliar words.
I think there are tons (not that lot maybe)
of similar meaning words in English.
Hi Amica
Nice to meet you.
Fumie
- Fumie
- 2010年6月20日 07:06
Hi David and everyone,
Did you see the soccer game between Japan and the Netherlands? Japan did very well but the Netherlands won1-0. OK, let's expect the next game on Friday morning with Denmark!
David, thanks for your feedback. It's been always helpful for me. To tell the truth, I sometimes have a mixed feeling; when I see my sentences in you feedback,I think" よしやった！(Ｉ’ｍ ｇｌａｄ）" and I sometimes feel " あ～またやっちゃった、がっくり." I should be more positive, but still "落ち込む。" Ｉ take it as the process of building up my English.
Thanks for sharing photos! I've never visited there, but it's not far away from my place, so I'd love to see the waterfall sometime soon.
Hi Marcus,
I didn't say"Hello" to you yet.
It's nice to have you with us.
> child has to be pushed, but the environment needs to be created. →I agree with you this point and it's also difficult for parents to face their son or daughter in this attitude.
By the way, I love watching TV ,so it's impossible for me to live without TV or turn off TV!
Hi Carrie,
How was the tastes of potatoes with beer?
I bet you had a great time with your family!
Thanks for reading my story.
Hi Ling,
Yes, sharing experiences with friends is nice.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Hi Appoh,
Yes, I'd love to visit there again. I was fun and without your advice, we didn't visit there . Thanks.
After returning to Japan, I was a bit in bad condition. どうやら年甲斐もなくNYで張り切りすぎたようです。。。I got better now,though.
By for now,
Anne
- Anne
- 2010年6月20日 09:32
it's me again.
訂正；
I was fun →It was fun
- Anne
- 2010年6月20日 09:39
Hi David and everyone,
Concerning this week's topic, I know it's late to talk about a little bit, but can I share my idea with you?
Your story about your mother is really impressive.(←Does using "impressive " here make sense? Or should I use another expression such as"interesting" or something?)
Actually, I've already finished raising my children and a lot of my friends have grandchildren. I sometimes hear from them how their daughters have raised their child. I sometimes wonder if I would raise my children again, what I would do differently and if they would be better or not.
Generally speaking when your child is small, parents do what they believe is best at every moment and expect their son or daughter to be talented or to be happy.
I think that is the parents and is the parents' job.
Actually, there are tons of my failure stories to share in regards to raising my sons! Things are never that simple. That's why a lot of "how to.." books concerning raising children have been published,right?
I talked about this topic with my friend the other day, and I remember a few stories; it's not related directly to raising a child but a way of thinking.
One of them is a kind of positive thinking towards life:
Suppose if you see "a half glass of water ", how do you think or react to it?
1. Oh, I have still " a half glass of water" and it's enough.
2. Oh, there's only "a half glass of water" left. How can I survive? What should I do?
There is a big difference between the two,isn't it?
Not all the children become talented or genius, but it is true that parents' encouragement and support in a No.1 way would be a huge help for their development and also helps them to live as an independent (←Is 'an independent person' better?)
later in life.
To be talented, it is true money matters and in a way, I agree with Ash, but money is not the only factor, I think.
Another things I remembered are books we discussed before on this blog; "Outliers" and "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living."
By for now,
Anne
- Anne
- 2010年6月20日 15:03
Hi David
Thank you for your correction.
What a fantastic and beautiful photo! It must be great to see it actually. Thank you for sharing the photo.
Hi Fumie
>Most people relatively talk straight here.
I agree with you because I am also 大阪人. I think this characteristic of 大阪人 is interesting.
Hi everyone
I watched a World Cup game between Japan and Holland. I didn't expected that Japanese internationals did such a good game, including the game against Cameroon. The next opposite Denmark is strong. I'm looking forward to watch Japan in round-of-16.
trmr
- trmr
- 2010年6月20日 17:08
Hi Anne,
"Impressive" sounds a bit strange in that sentence. In the new English version of the A-Z, I have added a suggestion that I think reflects what Japanese people want to say:
"Your story about your mother made an impression on me."
By the way, I forgot to mention on Friday that your story about meeting the mother of someone who died in the 9/11 attacks was a very good example of how "moved" is normally used in English. In that situation, it would be perfectly natural to say, "I was moved by her story" or "Her story was very moving."
I also wanted to mention that your written English is (in my opinion) much better now than it was when you started writing here. In particular, it has been getting much more natural over the last couple of months, so don't lose heart when you make a mistake!
- David
- 2010年6月20日 18:08
Hi Anne,
It seems you had a lot of fun on the trip. I haven’t been abroad for a long time. I really want to do that! Hope you take a good rest and get back to your usual self soon.
I always think that being impressive or impressed is more like a “wow!” They often use the word “impressive” for things like career and performance. As for “to impress,” boys always try to impress girls. That’s the first thing that comes to my mind.
When you are not sure how to use certain words, you might want to check an English-English dictionary. For example:
Impressive: evoking admiration through size, quality, or skill (Oxford Dictionary of English)
That explains a lot, doesn’t it?
By the way, I always try to be a glass-half-full kind of person, and I love that phrase :-)
- Lily
- 2010年6月20日 20:25
Hi Anne,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I’d also like to be that kind of person as Lily said.
By the way, I bet you had a lot of fun during your stay in the US, like watching some musicals. I have never watched musicals or plays in other countries and I want to watch some someday (in near future).
I am not sure but, in your comment to Appoh, “It was fun and without your advice, we didn't visit there.” might be “It was fun and without your advice, we wouldn’t have visited there.”
What do you think?
speak to soon,
amo
- amo
- 2010年6月21日 00:46
Hi David,
Thank you for your quick reply.
I'm afraid I stick "impressive" too much.
> made an impression on me."
It's new to me using "impression" like this.
I'll keep writing without losing my heart.
Hi Lily,
Thank you for your explanations.
Your example sentence helps a lot to understand the nuance.
By the way,I like the expression, "a glass-half-full."
Hi amo,
>we wouldn’t have visited there.” →Yes, you are right! Thank you!
Besides musicals themselves, watching them in foreign countries makes me feel the atmosphere; people, theaters, and other things. Those are really nice!
PS. I couldn't access here last night.
Anne
- Anne
- 2010年6月21日 05:42
Hi Anne, trmr, and everyone.
I hate to say it, but I thought that the Japanese team lost to Cameroon, and I never thought that Cameroon lost to Denmark.
Actually, I didn't predict that the Japanese team did well in this World Cup, and I didn't get excited about the present team.
Of course Denmark will be tough, but now, the team look like they have a chance to advance to the second round of the tournament.
I think I'm going to wake up early to watch their game this Friday.
Goodbye now,
Sam
- Sam
- 2010年6月21日 08:22
Hi Sam and everyone,
I learned the difference between a referee and an umpire from NHK radio program.
Generally, a referee has to move with player but an umpire doesn't need to move.
You can check it.;-)
Did everyone know it?
I didn't know that, it was new to me.
考えたこともありませんでした。
I want to share it with everyone.
Kazu
- Kazu
- 2010年6月21日 08:43
Hi Kazu,
逆はそうでもないかも。外国人に向かって早口の日本語でベラベラ話す人は少ないと思いますよ。
Hi Anne,
You're welcome. I am happy to hear you had a lot of fun there.
- Appoh
- 2010年6月21日 10:08
Hi Appoh、
あっ、そう言う意味でですね～(^_^;)
確かに日本人は英語が喋れなくても、なんとか身振り手振りで
またはゆっくりと伝えようとしますね。
きっとAppohの場合はビジネスでの話しでしょうから、アメリカで
ビジネスするなら英語くらい喋れ！って言う意識が相手にあるの
では？ ビジネスを離れたところでもAppohの言うような事がある
のでしょうか？
Appohの休日の過ごし方など書いて頂けると面白いかも知れませんね。 英語に関する面白いエピソードなどありましたら、時間のあるときに書いて頂けると面白いかも？ ＼(^_^)／
- Kazu
- 2010年6月21日 10:33
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- traduceri
- 2011年10月31日 03:34
Hi David,
The pictures are so beautiful! I feel "マイナスイオン"（笑） I want to go there and see it for myself!
And thanks for your feedback. They are very helpful to us.
By the way, I think the pianist you saw on TV was 小山実稚恵. The piece she was playing was piano concerto of Rachmaninoff? Was it No2? If so, it is my most favorite piano concerto. When I first heard it, I shed tears.
Good night
Amica