Thank You Letters

Dear Mom,

Thank you for giving birth to me. I still remember when you told me about the baby who died in your stomach before I was born.

("died in your stomach" is a bit strange, because babies don't grow in stomachs. You could say "died in your womb," but it would be more natural to say "the baby you lost before I was born."

You had a bad heart, and it was not in good condition when you got pregnant with me. The doctor told you that you had to give up or you would kill yourself, but you didn't give up even though Dad agreed with the doctor and tried convincing you.

(The doctor told you that you would die if you went through with the pregnancy, but you didn't give up hope even though Dad agreed with the doctor.)

Fortunately, everything went well, and we both survived, but you had to stay in hospital for about a year after you gave birth to me. You said that Grandma took care of me, and I was walking when you were back home.

(I was walking by the time you came home.)

When you told me this story, I was too young to understand how you could risk your life like that.

(I was too young to understand the risk you took.)

Even when I got married, I couldn't understand it. Now I have three children, so I finally understand how you felt at that time. If you had listened to the doctor and Dad, I wouldn't have been happy here.

(I wouldn't be here now.)

Thank you. I really appreciate you giving me life.

Dear mom,

It feels a bit embarrassing for me to write you this, but I want to say thank you for everything. I know I have been terrible and harsh to you these couple of years.

(I know I have been horrible to you these past couple of years.)

I hurt you with rude words and actions,didn't I?

(I said and did many things that hurt you.)

You sometimes just listened to me calmly and sometimes said "No!" rigidly.

(This is a bit disconnected. Saying "No" doesn't follow on from the previous line. The correct adverb would be "firmly," not "rigidly."

Thank you for accepting me with an open mind.

(Thank you for being patient with me.)

Thank you for pushing me to go to Canada as one of the members in Aichi Prefecture.

(Thank you also for pushing me to go to Canada.)

I really wanted to go there but was nervous. Your words," You want to go to Canada,right? Then, there's nothing to worry about." made me feel relaxed and made it easy to jump into that group.
Now I'm leaving my home to start the new life at college.

(I'm leaving home to start a new life at college.)

There are so many things which I have shared with you and I'm happy for that.
Thank you,mom.

With love, your son

Dear Dad in heaven
It already one and a half year has passed since you passed away.

(It has already been a year and a half since you passed away.)

I can't see you anymore though you still live on in our heart.

(Even though you are no longer with us, you still live on in our hearts.)

Do you remember the words you said when I was little? "Always do your best not to regret it later".

(Always do your best so that you have no regrets later.)

Your words always motivates me and gives me courage.

(Your words motivated me and gave me courage.)

You also acted as a role model and you are my guiding light even now. I was a clumsy child and couldn't do anything well but I never given up.

(, but I never gave up.)

My biggest achievement ever is passing the STEP test. Although the first grade is a little higher than my level, I barely passed it thanks to you.

(... thanks to you, I managed to scrape through.)

When you underwent chemotherapy I studied for the test.

(You were having chemotherapy while I was studying for the test.)

Seeing you were bearing painful tratment made me study hard.

(Seeing you bearing painful treatment like that made me study hard.)

I am proud to be your daughter. Thank you dad for always believing in me and showed me how to live fully.

(...and showing me how to live life to the full.)

Dear Bronwyn and Lavinia
How have you been?
Time flies,it's been such a long time since I left New Zealand, but the time I spent with you together at the house in Hillsborough still comes to me clearly.

(... but I still remember clearly the time I spent with you...)

I'm writing to thank you for your great help and warm friendship during my stay.
Lavinia,I remember I was so panicked

(I remember how I panicked when...)

when I found the desk I bought coming in only in pieces of boards,

(when the desk I bought arrived in pieces)

but you read the drawing carefully, and using your pumps' heel

(the heel of your pump)

instead of a hammer did all the assembling. When those boards becoming a real desk in front of me, you were absolutely my hero!

(When those boards became...)

Bronwyn, although you were the youngest among us, you cooked dinner for us almost every day and they were so delicious.

(it was so delicious.)

When I think of NZ now, I miss lasagnas, hamburgers and chocolate muffins that you usually cooked for us.

(I miss the lasagna, hamburgers, and chocolate muffins that you cooked for us.)

You said you liked cooking, but it's not easy to cook for room mates every day.
Not only did you help me when I needed, but also you treated me as your friend, though my English was so poor at the time. We went to bars, cinemas and many other places together, you even brought me to your friends' parties.

(Split this into two sentences: ...together. You even...)

Nine months are just a short time in one's life, but I had so many precious experiences with you and I really enjoyed staying in NZ. If I have a chance, I would like to visit you again in the future.
All the best.
Ling

Dear my little sis,
(Dear little sis)

Thank you for your hospitality during my stay in the US. I had a lot of fun with you and your family. I particularly enjoyed doing “living there things” like picking up your child from school, helping out at your child’s class, and having tea and chatting with your neighbours.

(Okay, but change the second "child" to "his" or "her.")

I don’t think I would have had those experiences if I had had an ordinary trip like a tourist.

(I could not have had those experiences if I had been a regular tourist.)

It would be nice if I could visit you once in a while. You have a natural gift to entertain people,

(... gift for entertaining people)

so you always make me smile. Of course this time was no exception and you amused me with your stories. You know I had a tough situation this first half of the year,

(You know that I had a tough time during the first half of this year)

so visiting you was a good for change. Thanks again and please give my best regard

(regards)

to your wonderful husband and lovely children.
With love.

Dear teacher,

(Dear Mr./Ms. name)
I have taken vocal lessons from you for 22 years.

(I have been taking vocal lessons from you for 22 years.)

I know that you thought my voice was not good

(...that you didn't think my voice was very good)

when you first heard my singing. I was not excellent student,

(I was not a very good student)

but you kept to teach me with a lot of patience.

(but you kept on teaching me, and you were very patient.)

When I was in my mid-twenties, I told you that I wanted to take an entrance examination

(the entrance examination)

of another music college. Did you remember it?

(Do you remember that?)

You said "You graduated a music college, so you don't need to do it again. Keep taking lessons under me. If you do it, your singing will be good certainly. Trust and follow me."

(You said, "You already graduated from one music college, so you don't need to do it again. Keep taking lessons from me, and I guarantee you will become a good singer.)

Now, I continue singing, and I'm able to have concerts.

(I carried on singing, and now I am able to give concerts.)

I couldn't have done them without you.

(I couldn't have done that without you.)

Thank you so much, and I'm proud of that I'm a pupil of you.

(I'm proud to be your pupil.)

Dear Mr. H.K.,

Do you remember I missed the final exam of an important subject and the dead line for submitting the report was over?

(Do you remember when I missed the final exam of an important subject and the deadline for submitting the report had passed?)

That meant I wouldn’t be able to graduate. I didn’t see any future of mine.

(I didn't think that I had any future.)

When I told you about that, you suggested me to bring the report to the teacher and convince him I would need those credits.

(...you suggested that I bring the report to the teacher and persuade him to give me the credits.)

I said doing such a thing would be embarrassing and miserable and I’d rather drop out of school. You got mad at me: “You don’t think of parents’ feelings at all!”

(You got mad and shouted at me, "You're not thinking of your parents' feelings at all!")

You pulled me to the teachers’ home and kicked me on my body, and I rang the chime.

You dragged me to the teacher's home and made me ring the bell.)

The teacher’s wife kindly let me in, and he first listened to me seriously and then became warm and kind.

(The teacher's wife let me in. At first, the teacher was not very friendly, but he listened to me. When he heard my story, he softened up.)

You were scary, and I really appreciate you helping me. I will never ever forget it.

Phew! I need to take a break now. I'll do the next batch of feedback as a comment tomorrow.

Sorry again about the mistake with the angle brackets. I hope this new feedback will be useful for you.

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