Hi David,

I laughed when I read your story. That's funny!(not for you, though lol)
Actually, I'm writing this on my phone because my son is using the computer now. I will try to write a story later.

Good night,

Tomo

PS Ling, you are welcome：)

•  Tomo
• 2011年1月10日 23:27

Hi David,

Thank you for the feedback.
>You pulled me to the teachers’ home and kicked me on my body ((Really??)), and I rang the chime. (There is a bit too much of a jump here. Do you mean "I went to the teacher's house and rang the chime."?)

Yes, he did, but only once at that time. Yes, I meant exactly what you wrote. I revised mine as below.
>>You pulled me to the teacher’s house and kicked me into the gate, and I rang the door bell. (Hope there isn’t much of a jump this time.)

Hi Sam,
Thanks! I’ve liked your posting from the beginning. Now, I realized the reason: Your writing style is just like Twitter.

Hi Fumie, Tomo and Ling,
Thank you for the words, I surely will. Taking care of myself is the first priority for me this year.

-----------------
Here is my story.

This is a true story about something that happened to me in the hospital last week. I asked my doctor about the possible pain during the fiberscope test. He told me I would not have to worry at all because they always make patients sleep. Actually, I had known that the policy attracts many people to the hospital. Anyway, a nurse gave me two injections, and I felt something hot came into the body and I became sleepy at once. She said, “Sleep well!” I replied, “I will.” But, the camera woke me up absolutely. I shouted, “Oh, my goodness!” I kept my eyes open and talking to them when they were doing in my abdomen. Funnily enough, when everything was done, I suddenly got sleepy. I slept one and a half hours in bed and another 30 minutes on the sofa at the lobby. Mind you, I usually don’t drink. (150 words)

•  tsuneko
• 2011年1月11日 13:57

Hi David,

Thank for your feedback, and you know I was really waiting for this. So I am happy now:-)
About new topic, of course I will try, but before that I have to think what I should write about.

Hi tsuneko,

I am so happy to see your comments again. Take care of yourself:-)

bye for now,
amo

•  amo
• 2011年1月11日 23:54

Hi tsuneko,
Thanks for sharing your story,
Take good care of yourself.
By the way, taking a walk sounds good.

David, as for the new topic"story", I'll try it later.

It's chilly this morning,brrr....

Have a lovey day,

Anne

•  Anne
• 2011年1月12日 06:44

Hi David,
I want to write a story but it takes some time to write something in English. I will post my story when I finish writing.

Fumie

•  Fumie
• 2011年1月12日 13:38

Hi, David

It's good for English practicing to make sentences. Thank you for giving us such a great chance.
I couln't make "thank-you letters",but tried making "
stories".I'd like you to correct the wrong points of my sentence.

英語で文章を作ったことがほとんどないので本当に恥ずかしいのですが、間違えた所をどんどん直してもらえたら嬉しいです。

※※※※※※※
This is a true story about something that happened to me in a park last autumn. When I ran in a park, a man also ran from the other side. It was only us to run in the park. I usually run ten laps of the park. When I ran for the second lap, I passed him. Then he said me "hello" and I answered " hello". I thought he looked friendly. When for the third lap, he said "it's hot, isn't it?" and I replied "yes". Next time I talked to him" otukaresama desu" he answered "you,too". It was a bit strange situation. I upset because I didn't know what I should talk about next time. In the end, I ran away from the park after ranning for the forth laps. Since then, I've never ran at every circular place. I run with a tread mill this winter.

公園でぐるぐる走ると、反対から走って来た人と何度もすれ違うので、一度挨拶をすると次に無視するわけにもいかず、お互い一言交わしてすれ違うのですが、しまいには、何と声を掛けていいのか分からなくなってしまい、気まずくなって逃げ出した、という事なのですが、英語でうまく伝わったかどうか不安です。

Hi, Amica, Anne, and Amo

Nice to meet you,too.
It took a long time to make around 150 words.

See ya

Mimi

•  Mimi
• 2011年1月12日 22:12

Hi David and everyone,

I tried writing my experience when I was in college. It's about 40 years ago! Time flies!

Here is my story:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My trip to Tohoku

Guess what happened to me?
I went backpacking in Tohoku for two weeks when I was a freshman.
The real thrill of this travel was starting to plan, and we four girls did enjoy this process.
After the class or playing hooky, we talked about where to go, which route we should take or lots of other things.
We didn't have enough money so we took the cheapest way which we thought about, and stayed at the youth hostels.
We had a lot of fun during our travel and at night on the last day, we went to an Onsen. Hot water was flowing from the upper side and I leaned back to one side of the bathtub because it looked relaxing. Just after that, I screamed and jumped out of the bathtub!
I had no idea that the flowing water was incredibly hot!
All in all, leaving aside of my miserable mishap, my trip was awesome. (157 words)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Mimi,
それは気まずいですね～！

By for now,

Anne

•  Anne
• 2011年1月12日 23:25

It's me again.
'By' should be ' Bye', of course.

•  Anne
• 2011年1月12日 23:30

Hi David and everyone,

This is a true story about something that happened when I went to Italy.
A few years ago, I went to Italy to take vocal lessons with my friends. We stayed at a small hotel for 8 days and went to teacher's house every day. On the morning of the second day, an employee in the hotel asked me "Can you sing Italian songs?" (We had musical scores of songs. ) I said "Yes". Then he said "Sing a song!" So we sang a song of an Opera's song. When we began to sing, he called other employees. They were overjoyed to hear our singing. Since then, they were more kindly. We could use a photocopier of the hotel for free, and when we had a breakfast at a small restaurant in the hotel, they made a special fruit juice which was not on a menu for us!

まさに「芸は身を助く」です♪

Amica

•  Amica
• 2011年1月12日 23:40

Hi David and everyone,

After posting my story last night, I was thinking about it this or that.
I'd like to change the following two parts:

>We didn't have enough money so we took the cheapest way which we thought about→We didn't have enough money so we took the cheapest way which we thought it would be

>leaving aside of my miserable mishap,→　aside from my miserable mishap,

Anyway, in the first sentence,it should be " leaving aside my miserable mishap."

It's the 158-word paragraph.

See you soon,

Anne

•  Anne
• 2011年1月13日 05:45

Hi David,
I would appreciate if you could correct my sentence.

This is a story when I look back to my own 20's.

I grew up in Nagoya. When I was a kid, I didn't like Nagoya very much. I didn't think much about Nagoya until I went to Tokyo. I decided to leave Nagoya, when I was nineteen years old, to experience other cultures and other histories. I wanted to go to Tokyo to see what was going on there. When I was there, I met the young people who were interested in Nagoya. When they asked me questions about Nagoya, I was ashamed that I didn't know much about my hometown. That made me start to learn about Nagoya but from the point of view of Tokyo. By doing this, I realized that the point of view was very different from the point of view that I had been raised with. When I came back to Nagoya a year later, I became more interested in my hometown.

Sam

•  Sam
• 2011年1月13日 07:57

Hi Tsuneko,

Unless the teacher actually physically kicked you with his foot, I don't think that is the right word. Maybe "You made me go to the other teacher's house"?

Here is some feedback on your story.

This is a true story about something that happened to me in the hospital last week. I asked my doctor about the possible pain during the fiberscope test. . He told me I would not have to worry at all because they always make patients sleep. Actually, I had known that the policy attracts many people to the hospital. . Anyway, a nurse gave me two injections, and I felt something hot came into the body and I became sleepy at once. She said, “Sleep well!” I replied, “I will.” But, the camera woke me up absolutely. . I shouted, “Oh, my goodness!” I kept my eyes open and talking to them when they were doing in my abdomen . Funnily enough, when everything was done, I suddenly got sleepy. I slept one and a half hours in bed and another 30 minutes on the sofa at the lobby. Mind you, I usually don’t drink. (The connection between the last sentence and the rest of the paragraph is not really clear. What does drinking have to do with feeling sleepy after going to hospital?)

Hi Mimi,

Here is some feedback on yours.

This is a true story about something that happened to me in a park last autumn. When I ran in a park, a man also ran from the other side. It was only us to run in the park. I usually run ten laps of the park. When I ran for the second lap , I passed him. Then he said me "hello" and I answered " hello". I thought he looked friendly. When for the third lap , he said "it's hot, isn't it?" and I replied "yes". Next time I talked to him " otukaresama desu" he answered "you,too". It was a bit strange situation. I upset because I didn't know what I should talk about next time. In the end, I ran away from the park after ranning for the forth laps. Since then, I've never ran at every circular place. I run with a tread mill this winter.

Hi Anne. Here is your feedback.

Guess what happened to me? (You can't really start with this sentence when there is no introduction. You would have to say, "Guess what happened to me yesterday" or "Guess what happened to me when I went to Tohoku.")
I went backpacking in Tohoku for two weeks when I was a freshman.
The real thrill of this travel was starting to plan, and we four girls (You can't say "we four girls" because you haven't introduced them yet. )did enjoy this process.
After the class or playing hooky, we talked about where to go, which route we should take or lots of other things.
We didn't have enough money so we took the cheapest way which we thought about, and stayed at the youth hostels.
We had a lot of fun during our travel and at night on the last day , we went to an Onsen. Hot water was flowing from the upper side and I leaned back to one side of the bathtub because it looked relaxing. Just after that, I screamed and jumped out of the bathtub!
I had no idea that the flowing water was incredibly hot!
All in all, leaving aside of my miserable mishap, my trip was awesome. ("I'm afraid that even I am too old to use "awesome"!)

Hi Amica,

Thanks for helping me out with my piano questions the other night. Here is some feedback on your story.

This is a true story about something that happened when I went to Italy. (I love the way lots of you are starting to use patterns and structures that you have learned from other people. This is the only way to develop natural English.)
A few years ago, I went to Italy to take vocal lessons with my friends. We stayed at a small hotel for 8 days and went to teacher's house every day. On the morning of the second day, an employee in the hotel asked me "Can you sing Italian songs?" (We had musical scores of songs. .) I said "Yes". Then he said "Sing a song!" So we sang a song of an Opera's song. When we began to sing, he called other employees. They were overjoyed to hear our singing. (Remember, the simplest way to say something is always the most natural.) Since then, they were more kindly. We could use a photocopier of the hotel for free, and when we had a breakfast at a small restaurant in the hotel, they made a special fruit juice which was not on a menu for us!
(This is very nice. Your English level has really jumped since you started writing on this blog.)

Hi Sam,

Nice to hear from you. Here is your feedback.

I grew up in Nagoya. When I was a kid, I didn't like Nagoya very much. I didn't think much about Nagoya until I went to Tokyo. I decided to leave Nagoya, when I was nineteen years old, to experience other cultures and other histories. I wanted to go to Tokyo to see what was going on there. When I was there, I met the young people who were interested in Nagoya. When they asked me questions about Nagoya, I was ashamed that I didn't know much about my hometown. (That is a good use of "ashamed." You could use "embarrassed" as well, but "ashamed" sounds stronger.) That made me start to learn about Nagoya but from the point of view of Tokyo. By doing this, I realized that the point of view was very different from the point of view that I had been raised with. When I came back to Nagoya a year later, I became more interested in my hometown.

Very nice.

Hope that is helpful for you all. Let me know if you have any questions.

•  David
• 2011年1月13日 11:21

Hi David,
Thank for your feedback. It is very helpful for me!

>Guess what happened to me? (You can't really start with this sentence when there is no introduction.→I see. I wanted to write a hook and came up with this sentence. Words I can use are limited so I'm wondering how I should express or if I should give it up.

>("I'm afraid that even I am too old to use "awesome"!)→Me neither!! haha! Actually, you said" Both thank-you letters and stories are for college students." I chose topics and contents which I thought were proper for students. I thought it would be OK for college students to use 'awesome.' I will never ever use "awesome" and would say " nice/great" instead. 　少しかっこつけましたが、無理があったようです＾＾；）

I tried rewriting my paragraph. (It's just for my English study.)
~~~~~~~~
I went backpacking in Tohoku for two weeks with my friends when I was a freshman.
The real thrill of this travel was starting to plan, and we four girls did enjoy this process.
After the class or playing hooky, we talked about where to go, which route we should take or lots of other things.
We didn't have enough money so we took the cheapest way which we thought it would be, and stayed at the youth hostels.
We had a lot of fun during our travel and at night on the last day, we went to an Onsen. Hot water was flowing from the upper side and I leaned back to one side of the bathtub because it looked relaxing. Just after that, I screamed and jumped out of the bathtub!
I had no idea that the flowing water was incredibly hot!
All in all, aside from my miserable mishap, my trip was great. (156 words)
~~~~~~~~~~~

See you soon,

Anne

•  Anne
• 2011年1月13日 14:31

Hi David,

Thank you for the feedback again.

>Unless the teacher actually physically kicked you with his foot, I don't think that is the right word. Maybe "You made me go to the other teacher's house"?

I’m afraid I did not write to the teacher but to my ex-boyfriend. He actually physically kicked me with his foot to make me go to the teacher’s house because I was still hesitating in front of the gate to the teacher’s house.

>Mind you, I usually don’t drink. (The connection between the last sentence and the rest of the paragraph is not really clear. What does drinking have to do with feeling sleepy after going to hospital?)

Sorry, it seems that there was too much of a jump again. It is said that anaesthetics, drugs to make people unconscious, do not work quickly on people who drinks much alcohol. I think the last sentence is not really necessary.

Hi amo,

Thanks for the words. I admire your effort to keep writing every week. I hope I can follow you at least every month or when I find topics approachable.

Hi Anne,

Maybe, our generation has to be careful about the health. Your posting made me feel like posting again. Thank you.

Hi Mimi,

Nice to meet you. Do you like running? I hope you can run at the park again.

•  tsuneko
• 2011年1月13日 15:01

Hi David and everyone,
Belated happy new year!
This is a story-telling special? Very interesting!
Here’s my story;

This is also a true story about something that happened one summer evening.
I was on a train for Munich with a Japanese friend of mine. A young couple came in and sat in front of us. We recognized them as Koreans by appearance and the language they spoke. Before long I saw them closing their eyes, and I stared at the woman’s face for a moment. She was pretty, but that’s not what caught my eyes, it was her incredibly beautiful complexion. “How on earth can she have such perfect skin?”, I said to my friend, “she was just born like that?” About an hour later, as the train was getting close to Munich, people started to get their things together and prepare to get off the train. It was when the couple started talking to each other in JAPANESE. The language I thought was Korean was not Korean but Japanese with a Kansai accent! I was at a loss what to do thinking back about what I said about her. Did I say something wrong?” No! But how embarrassing!

•  Jazmín
• 2011年1月13日 16:24

Hi Sam,
Thank you for your story, I understand you very much because I’m in the same situation. After I came to Japan, I started to realize, how little I know about my own country!

Hi Anne,
I didn’t know “awesome" was mainly used by young people, I should be careful too-:)

Hi Tsuneko,
Thanks for the豆知識, “anaesthetics and drugs do not work quickly on people who drink much alcohol.”

Hi Jazmin,
I laughed when I read your story, it does happen! You are lucky you didn't say any bad thing about her.

Hi David,
I can’t think of any interesting or unusual stories happened to myself, but I remember a story a university friend told me some years ago, I just write it here, so “I” in the story is my friend, not me.
-----------------------------
One day I was walking on the street in Shinjuku, a man came from behind and said to me in broken Japanese: “if you don’t mind, would you like to have a cup of tea with me?” I noticed that was a foreigner, he was well-dressed and kind of handsome. Since this doesn’t happen to me often, and I happened to have time that day, so I said “okay”. We went to a café and “talked” for a while, his Japanese was very limited, and I only understood some English words, we needed a lot of effort to get across, but I managed to know he was from France and worked as a fashion designer, he came to Japan quite often. After the simple introduction, he started to say “I love you” passionately and tried to hold my hands. I knew French people were very passionate but I could never imagine that a normal person would say “I love you” to a person he first met. I got scared so I said “I have to go”. Before I left he gave me his telephone number, but I never called him.
Was it just because of culture difference? Or if we didn’t have the language problem, would the story end in different way? Who knows?

•  Ling
• 2011年1月13日 19:43

Hi Ling,

That's a funny story. I think it is weird in any culture to tell someone you have just met that you love them!

There are only a couple of mistakes in your story. You don't need "so" before "I said okay" because you have "since" at the beginning of the sentence. "We needed a lot of effort to get across." "Get across" is transitive, so it needs an object.

It was really hard work trying to get the meaning across.

"I managed to know that" → "I managed to figure out that"

The last but one sentence should be "If we hadn't had the language problem, would the story have ended in a different way?"

I'm only picking up these points because I presume that you want feedback. They really are very minor. Your writing is excellent.

•  David
• 2011年1月13日 22:00

Hi David and everyone,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I was going to write something interesting, but I couldn’t think of any. Also I have been under the weather for this couple of days. I don’t have any energy to think of….It’s too cold to do anything!! Believe it or not, the air-conditioner is still on in my office!! That’s the reason I am not feeling well, so I will pass this time.
Even so, I could learn a lot of things from others. Thanks everyone.

I am off to bed, good night.
amo

•  amo
• 2011年1月13日 23:36

Hi David and everyone,
I read all of your stories and found interesting and learned a lot, thanks!
I want to share my story. Mine is also a true story (mind-boggling for me) which I saw at my son's graduation ceremony. David said stories are supposed to be for students so I write it as my pretending to be one of the graduates.卒業生の一人の立場で書きます。story中の名前は適当につけてます。

The graduation ceremony of our junior high school was memorable moment for me. Some students gave messages to their parents or teachers when they received their certificates. Like, "Thank you for raising me until now", "Thank you for your support and help". After several student's turns over, unbelievable thing happened. One boy said a girl "I love you" on the stage in front of teachers, parents and guests! Graduation ceremony is usually a formal, serene occasion. My mother said "Such a thing never happened when I was a student". After him some boys gave messages to their girlfriends too. And Keita, my boyfriend, gave me one too,　"Yui, we are going to a different high school but let's keep seeing each other". I was too shy to gave back a message at the ceremony but I did it after the ceremony. And after almost one year, we are still going out.
151 words

Can you believe that? I was so suprised to know that today's young people (not all of them) are so straightforward!　人前で平気で、愛の告白をしちゃうなんてすごいなぁって思いました。でもかわいいなぁって感じました。＾＾

Fumie

•  匿名
• 2011年1月14日 06:25

Hi David and everyone,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I enjoyed reading them all.
Fumie, I like your story. It sounds like a drama or a movie!
I also wrote a story, but I seem to have written a bit too long. Anyway, here's my story.

When I was in high school, I was working at the front desk of a golf driving range near my house. One night, I saw 3 or 4 men coming toward the door, so I was going to say hello with a smile, but I ducked under the counter before they saw me instead. One of my co-workers was surprised and said, "What's wrong??" "My homeroom teacher! Students at my school are not allowed to have a part time job!", I explained in a low voice. My co-workers understood the situation at once and deal with them, so everything went OK. The next day, I went to school as usual, and I was looking at the outside the window in the corridor before the class started. Then, someone came and stood next to me and said, "Welcome to Plus One!" It made me jump, and I was lost for words. It was the name of the golf range, and it came out of the mouth of the man next to me, who was my homeroom teacher!

David - It seems like you missed Jazmín's story. I don't think there are any mistakes in it, but please have a look at it again:)

See you soon,

Tomo

•  Tomo
• 2011年1月14日 10:23

Hi Jazmin,

I didn't miss your story - I remember writing about it last night. My comment must have been rejected, but I didn't notice. Anyway, it was almost perfect, but I have added a few comments in >. It's a very funny story.

This is also a true story about something that happened one summer evening.
I was on a train for Munich with a Japanese friend of mine. A young couple came in and sat in front of us. We recognized them as Koreans by appearance and the language they spoke. Before long I saw them closing their eyes, and I stared at the woman’s face for a moment. She was pretty, but that’s not what caught my eyes , it was her incredibly beautiful complexion. “How on earth can she have such perfect skin?”, I said to my friend, “she was just born like that?” About an hour later, as the train was getting close to Munich, people started to get their things together and prepare to get off the train. It was when the couple started talking to each other in JAPANESE. The language I thought was Korean was not Korean but Japanese with a Kansai accent! I was at a loss what to do thinking back about what I said about her. Did I say something wrong?” No! But how embarrassing!

Actually, I remember going out to a club in Singapore with one of my students, Yutaka. I saw a beautiful woman, and I asked him to go and talk to her because I didn't speak Japanese at that time. He said, "She's not Japanese - she's Chinese." I thought he was wrong, but he was absolutely sure that she was not Japanese. He said, "I can tell who is from my country!" I thought he was wrong, but I tried to talk to her in English. It turned out that her name was Naomi, and she was from Kyoto!

•  David
• 2011年1月14日 14:23

Hi David

Thank you for the feedback,but..
頂いたものは、特に直しやコメントはなく、私が作った文章と同じものでした。これって、間違いがなかったという事でしょうか？そんなはずないか＾＾

Hi Tsuneko,
Nice to meet you.
Yes, I love running. I sometimes attend 10km runnning races like gussan.

Mimi

•  Mimi
• 2011年1月14日 22:16

Hi Mimi,

I've tried a 10km running race of 駿府マラソン only once long time ago although I didn't like running. One of my co-workers asked me to join and made a training plan for me one month before the race. It was a lot of fun. I don't know where you live. I live in Kobe, and Kobe will have the first 神戸マラソン on 23 Nov. If you don't live far, welcome to this races!

•  tsuneko
• 2011年1月15日 00:51

Hi Tsuneko,

Thank you for telling me about 神戸マラソン. It's difficult to join the race because I live in Gunma. If I could run in Kobe it would be wonderful. I think jogging and running is getting more popular recently. Speaking of Kobe,it's a memorial day of 阪神大震災 the day after tommorrow, isn't it? I 've watched a news about earthquake of Haiti. It's awful. 人々の幸せな生活を一瞬にして奪ってしまう地震はとても恐ろしい。ニュースを見ていてたまらない気持ちになりました。

•  Mimi
• 2011年1月15日 19:26

Hi Mimi,

I was originally from Shizuoka pref. and I was in Singapore on that day. My parents in law, too. I just heard about the earthquake from people around me. I'm living in an apartment house now where there used to be 長屋 but were all burnt out. By the way, I have several good friends from Gunma, and one of them is my best friend.:-)

•  tsuneko
• 2011年1月15日 23:52