2011年1月24日
The Tiger Mother
Hi team,
I got back to Seto around midday on Sunday. It took me about 24 hours to get back from Kyushu, but that included time for sleeping and breaks. I think it was about 12 hours of actual driving time. Altogether, I drove 2,330 km in four days. It sounds like a lot, but truck and bus drivers do this every day of their working lives.
While I was down in Kyushu, I read a story on the Internet that interested me. It's about a woman called Amy Chua who has released a book on the Chinese style of parenting.
Amy Chua is Chinese, but she is married to an American, and she lives in the U.S. Both she and her husband are professors at Yale University, and she has published several books on more academic subjects before.
In her new book, Amy Chua describes how she brought up her children in America using a Chinese parenting style. She believes that parents in the U.S. are too soft on their children, and that a mother's job is to push her children to reach their full potential. The book has been very cleverly marketed, and if you Google either "Amy Chua" or "Tiger Mother" at the moment, you will find lots of articles and blogs talking about it.
Here is one example:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jb_Wy4jb0pO8e_oHGYRsS0rEkyow?docId=CNG.61f5037efdc5676e4340dc55d69405b5.821
I was particularly interested in this story because I know that Japanese ideas about parenting have a lot in common with Chinese ones, and I was wondering what you all thought about this. Some people in the West are saying that Amy Chua is a terrible mother, and that she abused her children. Others, however, are saying that there are a lot of things that Western parents can learn from the Chinese, and that many of the problems in society today are the result of poor parenting.
Anyway, please have a look around on the Web when you have some free time, and let me know whether you agree or disagree with Amy Chua's arguments.
Bye for now.
PS Hi trmr. Yes, I did see a family of deer up at Ebino Kougen.
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Comments
Hi David,
Glad that you got back home safely.
Speaking of the topic, I have never heard of her before. It's too late and I am a bit of tired so I will take a look at it later this week.
Hi Toko-mom,
Welcome to the blog.
Looking forward to your next comment.
Hi everyone,
How's your day? it's been cold lately, so please take care of yourself;-)
amo
- amo
- 2011年1月24日 23:27
Hi David and everyone,
I was interested in her daughters’ feeling, and then I found an article to explain that. The elder one said like if she died the next day she would not regret because she felt she lived her life 110%. When I read it, I think Amy Chua’s parenting went well on at least one of her daughter. I didn’t have enough time to find more similar articles or the other daughter’s comments. However, apparently, her children were potential as same as their parents, so they were able to answer to the mother’s demands. I think I don’t need to criticize her child-rearing. She said the book is her memoir. But, I’m just wondering how the kids would have been if they had had totally different potential abilities from that Amy had expected.
- tsuneko
- 2011年1月25日 00:27
Hi Tsuneko,
I wondered the same thing! It is not possible for every child to be top of the class. I read another article where she explained this, though. She gave the example of another Chinese child who was mentally retarded. The child's mother still pushed her, but in different ways. For example, she made her practice for days to tie her own shoelaces even though other people said it was impossible for her. I think the point she is making that it is the mother's job to push each child so that he or she can maximize his or her potential.
- David
- 2011年1月25日 00:35
Hi everyone,
The difference of parenting style between Western countries and Asian countries like China and Japan might attribute to the difference of parents’ attitude toward their children. I have a feeling that Western parents are more likely to consider their children as whole individuals. Meanwhile, Japanese parents tend to regard their children as their belongings, so they are more likely to control their children.
Anyway, even if a mother's job is to push her children to reach their full potential is true, as tsuneko and David mentioned, the mother should see her children’s potential carefully with a cool head but a warm heart.
Actually I haven’t read the book yet, but Amy Chua’s parenting style is not necessarily a “Chinese” parenting style anymore, I’m afraid. After the "one-child policy" was introduced, a generation of spoiled children, who are called “little emperors”, was created.” China is changing so rapidly!
- Jazmín
- 2011年1月25日 11:37
Hi David and everyone,
Thanks for the tip for me to think twice. I imagine how happy she was when she managed to tie her own shoelaces. If every child can maximize his or her potential, how nice would it be? Helen Keller was another good example who was brought up in a very strict way, not by her mother but by her teacher, and reached her really full potential. However, in her case, if the mother had done the role of Ms. Sullivan, whether she could have reached the same, I wonder. I’d like a mother to spoil her children unconditionally when it is necessary, because I needed it.:-) I can’t seem to have reached my potential, though.
- tsuneko
- 2011年1月25日 13:11
Hi David and everyone,
As a mother, I would be happy if my children got good grades or top of the class. I would be proud of them, but I don't think a mother's job is to push her children to reach their full potential. I think a mother's(or parents') job is to love, support, and encourage her children so that they can be happy. I wonder if Amy Chua has ever thought of what her children want to do, not what she wants them to do. It sounds to me that she is trying to make her own dream come true. Maybe it's just cultural differences, but I can not understand Amy Chua. I can't believe that she says for Chinese parents, "the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child". Doesn't she care about children's feelings? How could she call her daughter "garbage"?? Even if it's for children to reach their full potential, her ideas are neither acceptable nor understandable. They can be very dangerous. I think she needs to learn that children have their own character or personality and their own will. They are not parents' dolls.
- Tomo
- 2011年1月25日 14:49
Hi team,
I'm still working on my new writing book, and I need a paragraph about someone's experience of unexpectedly meeting someone famous. I saw Wada Akiko once in Heathrow Airport, but she just walked past us, and I didn't talk to her, so it's not a very interesting story. Does anyone have a better one?
- David
- 2011年1月25日 18:24
Hi David,
How about Nagoya Grampus' striker 'Kennedy', who is an Australian soccer player? I met him at a supermarket nearby my house and spoke to him^^)
If you are interested in my story, I'll try to write my experience.
By the way,when is the deadline?
Would you give me a few days to post since I'm a bit busy at the moment?
As for this week's topic, I'll write it later.
Speak to you soon,
Anne
- Anne
- 2011年1月25日 19:21
Hi David,
Wish I could help, but I've never met someone famous unexpectedly. Sorry!
- Tomo
- 2011年1月25日 19:31
【訂正】
I've never met someone famous → I've never met anyone famous
- Tomo
- 2011年1月25日 21:44
Hi Anne,
Thanks for the offer, but one of my friends has just helped me out with a story, so it's okay now. If you want me to check your story, though, please go ahead and write it when you have time.
- David
- 2011年1月25日 22:43
Nice to meet you, David&everyone.
I am English beginner.
All of you comment are in English, but I think that is Japanese increases when I comment.
I want be able to do conversation in English a little. And I arrived at this blog.
I may trouble you,because my english is very bad and full of mistake and I comment is more japanese.
I have a child , so I have a little time everyday.
時間が無く、疲れてきたので後は日本語で(^-^;
毎日見ることは出来ないと思いますし、なかなかコメントをしたりお返事したり出来ないと思います。
それでも、温かく迎えてくれると嬉しいです。
私も、早くみなさんのように英語が出来るようになりたいです。
すこしづつでも楽しみながら頑張っていきたいので、みなさん、どうぞよろしくお願いいたします。
早速ですが、このコメントを入れる最後のところに
Remember personal info?
とありますが、これはどういうことでしょうか?みなさん、はいにチェックを入れているのですか?
- yuko
- 2011年1月26日 03:35
Hi David and everyone,
Let me tell you what I think about this week's topic. I have a very similar idea with Tomo.
I think keeping a good balance of tenderness and strictness in child rearing is very important yet difficult. Of course certain amount of discipline is necessary. At the same time, children need an affection of a parent, especially when they are feeling down or struggling in something. Parents should stand by them, help and support them.
Spoiling and raising children with love is different.
Nowadays there is a tendency that some of parents let their children behave as they want to; some parents neglect or indulge them. Children can't learn social rules by themselves. It's a parent's job to teach them those rules or parents should act as their role models.
I think Amy Chua went a bit too far.
(She made her daughter to stand out in the cold for falling short on piano practice) is a child abuse.
(Belittling her daughter by calling her 'garbage!) is just shaming her. It would lower her self-esteem.
(She decides what activities children would do). Her parenting style is treating them like robots. Children don't have a choice. They are not parent's posession.
As a parent, I can't do all these things to my children even if those things would maximize their potential.
I think that there are two ways to maximize children's potential. One is teaching children in hard way as Amy does. Another is praising them and raising their self-esteem. Which way is happier for children?
Having said that (そうは言ってもは、この言い方でいいのでしょうか?)I'm not criticize Amy. I listened to her interview. In it she said her mother raised her the same way and she doesn't hate her mother. Both Amy and her mother had raised their children strictlly and successfully. Even though they were so strict they also combined love and compassion.
So this is a successful example of raising children in hard way.
Hi Yuko, welcome to the blog! Let's study English together.
Fumie
- 匿名
- 2011年1月26日 06:43
Hi Yuko,
Welcome to the blog. Please feel free to just write comments when you have the time. I'm sure having a young child must keep you very busy.
I was reading about Ichiro's childhood last night, and apparently, his father told his baseball coach never to praise him no matter how good he was, because he wanted him to push himself more. It sounded a bit like Amy Chua!
- David
- 2011年1月26日 08:07
Hi David,
You've already got the story? That's good for you!
If I could, I'll try to write my experience for my English study. Thanks!
Hi yuko,
Welcome to the blog!
お子さんがいらっしゃる間、勉強を続けるのは大変ですよね。
このブログは、日本語でもOKです。ちょこっと時間を見つけてここを訪れる、そんな参加の仕方もあり、だと思います。
Remember personal info?ですが、上のURLを入れたときにそれを記憶させるかどうか、ということだと思います。なので、これにチェックしてもしなくてもいいと思います。普段私は意識していません。(あくまでも私の理解の範囲ですが。)
See you soon,
Anne
- Anne
- 2011年1月26日 08:33
Hi Yuko,
Welcome to the blog! こちらこそ、よろしくお願いします^^ I was also a beginner when I joined the blog. I used to write comments all in Japanese and skip other people's English comments if they were too difficult for me, so don't worry about that:)
Remember personal info? は個人情報を記憶させるかどうかです。 「はい」にすると、次から自分の名前や名前に入れたリンクなどを入力しなくても自動的に入るようになります。 私はよく名前を忘れるので「はい」にしていますが、どちらでも大丈夫ですよ。
Look forward to reading your comments!
Tomo
PS Fumie, I think you are right about the expression "having said that", but I think you need a comma. そのあとの criticize(動詞)は品詞を勘違いしたのかな・・?
- Tomo
- 2011年1月26日 08:36
PPS Anneのコメントとすれ違ってしまったみたいですね。 Remember personal info?は「はい」にすると、URLなしで名前だけでも記憶されます。 でもAnneの言う通り、チェックしなくても問題ないと思います。
- Tomo
- 2011年1月26日 08:41
It is a heavy snow in my town! I had removed the snow since early this morning, so I was tired.
腰が痛い…(涙)
Hi yuko,
Welcome to this blog! 一緒に頑張りましょ~♪
Amica
- Amica
- 2011年1月26日 08:46
Hi Fumie,
I just realized that you meant "I'm not criticizing Amy", right?
Amica, take care!
- Tomo
- 2011年1月26日 09:00
Hi David and everyone
I read the article which David had shown us, and read some other articles and listened to the interview.
While reading each article, it reminds me of two things;
one is a book "Outliers" by Malcom Gladwell that we talked about here before. In the book, he mentioned "the 10,000-hour Rule" and "they work much,much harder"(to success.) The other is the story that David told us about a mother and a daughter in Ichinoiya(?、sorry,I forgot)he had met. The daughter was very smart and a good girl, and the mother wrote and published a book about her parenting. Her parenting is not so 'extreme' as to that of Amy Chua's,of course, but she focused on how to raise her children 100% since they were born, and I thought where were their will.
Of course,it is crucial for all parents to push each child so that he or she can maximize his or her potential, though, not all the children can answer their mothers' expectations. Amy Chua's style is too"extreme." She said ,"This book is memoirs." , so I want to take this book as her own memories, not as Chinese parenting style. Anyway, it's good for her that her parenting style went well, but I'm wondering how children can nourish their empathy and sympathy under these circumstances.
Speak to you soon,
Anne
- Anne
- 2011年1月26日 12:54
Amica,
Have you been shoveling everyday?
I just did once the other and thought,'It's enough!'
お大事に!
- Anne
- 2011年1月26日 12:58
Amica,
Have you been shoveling everyday?
I just did once the other and thought,'It's enough!'
お大事に!
- Anne
- 2011年1月26日 12:58
This topic is very timly story for me! But I can't explain about that because last weeked, I had a big trouble of my daughters job hunting and her furure. ・・・あ、だめだ、まだ疲れと混乱で頭がうまく働いていません。”子育て””育児””教育”とか今、まっただ中なのですが、親の思うようにはホント!いかなものですね。育てようとする側の人間形成も中途半端なのに、完璧な(りっぱなというのが適当かな)人間にしたいとか、なってほしいと思うのがまちがいなんでしょうか。なはは、とたった今くじけそうな、落ち込みそうな今日この頃です。”Tiger Mother" 文字そのままに強い、しっかりした母でなきゃなあ。と今回のテーマで感じてます。さあ、次回こそ、もっと長い英文での意見、感想、思い、を投稿したいです。きょうはこれで。Weekday,みなさん頑張ってお仕事を!^^/
- 匿名
- 2011年1月26日 13:17
Hi Yuko, nice to meet you!
Hi Amica, I’m so sorry about the snow. So hard, isn’t it?
Well, I wouldn’t say I can’t understand Amy and her idea. I admit there are some episodes that I think are disgusting, but when I read an article in which she said “Childhood is a training period, a time to build character and invest in the future.", I had a second thought. What if you’re a six-year-old, who has never thought about your potential (who has?) and doesn’t know what to do for your entire career/life (who knows?), just watching TV and playing video games? You might be going to bury your talent and ruin your life! Looking back on my childhood, if my mother had pushed me more to play the piano, my life might’ve been a little bit different. For a mentally retarded child, being able to tie her own shoelaces or not makes her life totally different. And the decision is made not by the child but by her mother.
- Jazmín
- 2011年1月26日 15:04
Hi, Toko-momです。"tiger Mother"のように強い母に・・。というコメントは私が書き込みました。どこにも自分の名前がなかったので、あせりました。ははは。
- 匿名
- 2011年1月26日 15:48
Hi David and everyone,
I didn’t know anything about Amy Chua and didn’t read any books she wrote, but from David’s entry and member’s comments, I can assume what her “Chinese parenting style” means.
I know in the past, some Chinese parents (especially highly-educated ones) liked to extend their children’s potential by pushing them and treating them strictly, it used to be considered a good way of raising children. Since the “one-child policy” started, and also we are in the different era now, I don’t know how many parents still follow this way. At least, not many parents will call their children “garbage” and low there children’s self-esteem, I guess. I thought this kind of parenting style was out of date, so I was very surprised to know it’s still practiced in a developed country far from China. No wonder she got loud criticism. I agree with Jazmin, this shouldn’t be called a “Chinese parenting style”, it’s just “Amy Chua’s parenting style”.
I won’t comment on her parenting style, but I think the balance between strictness and tenderness would be very important on parenting. She might be extremely strict with her children at most time, but sometimes she must have showed her deep love toward them or convinced them that she loved them so that she had to be a terrible mother.(Or maybe her husband played the tender role) That’s why her parenting was successful.
- Ling
- 2011年1月26日 16:53
I have read a few reports by people who have read the book, and they said that if you read the whole thing, Amy Chua's parenting style was actually not so extreme. Of course, her publishers chose the most outrageous parts to show the media because they want to generate as much publicity as they can for the book. I think they have done a great job!
- David
- 2011年1月26日 18:17
Hi David,
There is each way of parenting, so I think you can't say this way is right or not.
As a result, if your child was satisfied, it was a good parenting for the child.
Personally, I wouldn't like to rear a child by an extreme way(I'm not sure because I don't have any children), but I sympathize with the point to be consistent her educational concept.(←彼女の教育方針に一貫性があることには共感できます。)褒められて伸びるタイプと、厳しく叱咤されて伸びるタイプがあると思いますが、私自身は、叱られた時の方が頑張る気になりました。しかし、悔しさから相手を見返してやろうという気分だったので、あまりいい動機ではなかったかも知れません。
I wondered if I were raised by mother like her, how I became present.(←私がAmyのようなやり方で育てられたとしたら、現在の私はどのようになっていたのかなぁ、と思います。)
Hi, Toko-mom&Yuko
Nice to meet you.I sympathize with you. 読むペースも書くペースも遅いので、なかなか英語でうまくコメントできないのですが、Davidをはじめ、みなさん温かい方々なので、間違いを恐れず安心してコメントすることが出来ます。私もbeginner なので、お互い無理をせず細く長く頑張りましょう☆よろしくお願いします★
Mimi
- Mimi
- 2011年1月26日 21:31
Hi David
Thank you for your feedback. I learned a lot of things from it :-) I don't understand where I should use 'a' and 'the'. I should practice more.
I have an question from your feedback.
(the club would provide medical treatment for his disease.)
What does "would" mean in this sentence?
Hi everyone
Talking about this week's topic. I'm not a parent, so I can't explain well. I understand her style may grows children skilled ones. But I don't like it. It reminds me Michael Jackson and his father who trained Michael very hard.
When I read the other articles about her and have some opinions, I will write it.
Hi Yuko
Welcome the blog! Let's learn English together.
trmr
- trmr
- 2011年1月26日 23:19
Hi Tomo,
Thank you for the explanation about "Having said that," and also pointed out my mistake. Yes, I meant I'm not criticizing Amy. Or I should write I don't criticize Amy. また文法ミスをしてしまった。何度か読んでからpost するのですが、なかなかミスに気づかなくて。。。
Hi David and everyone,
I read Hideki Matsui's father's book before. The title is "ゴジラパパのまっとうな子育て”or something. Both of Godzilla's parents raised him with lots of affection.
Earl woods, Tiger Woods's father, also raised Tiger by praising him a lot. So some children can extend their potential by being praised a lot and some can by pushing to work more.
Fumie
- Fumie
- 2011年1月27日 05:59
My comment was rejected last night, I posted this again this morning.
Hi David and everyone,
I haven't read the book yet, so I'm not sure but according to the articles, Amy Chua seems to "have blamed the paper's headline writer's for being overly provocative." In that sense, publisher have done a great job as David said. The more people criticize her book, the more people become interested in it.There are lots of views concerning her book,good or bad, but just having a look at 10 things her daughters were not allowed to do made me feel 'extreme.'
I'm not sure if this is good or not, anyway, I tried writing 10 things that Amy Chua's daughter's were NEVER ALLOWED TO DO:(from Wall Street Journal)
1. attend a sleepover(友達の家にとまりに行く)
2. have a play date(友達と遊ぶ)
3. be in a school play( 学校の劇に参加する)
4. complain about not being in a school play
(学校の演劇に参加できないことに文句を言う)
5. watch TV or play computer game
(テレビを見たりゲームをする)
6. choose their own extracurricular activities
(課外活動を自分で選択する)
7. get any grade less than an A
(A 以外の評価をうけること)
8. not be the No.1 student in every subject except gym and drama ( 体育と演劇を除いたすべての教科で一番にならないこと)
9.play any instrument other than the piano or violin
(ピアノもしくはバイオリン以外の楽器を演奏する事)
10. not play the piano or violin( ピアノもしくはバイオリンを弾かないこと)
これは本の一部ですし、、これだけで判断する野は危険ですが、やはりこうした状況で子供を育てるというのは、良くも悪くもかなりのものだと思いました。
Bye for now,
PS.訂正:
>,"This book is memoirs." →"This book is a memoir."
>her own memories, →her own memoir,
Anne
- Anne
- 2011年1月27日 07:18
Sorry, it's me again.
teisei:
>Amy Chua's daughter's were →Amy Chua's daughters were
>判断する野は→判断するのは(変換ミス、気がつきませんでした。)
Have a lovely day,everyone!
- Anne
- 2011年1月27日 07:24
Hi,everyone
I'm very glad because everyone welcome me!
Thank you so much!!
I was relieved a little because there are seemed to be English beginner.(←英語ビギナーの方もいるようなので少しホッとしました。と言いたかったのですがどう言えばちゃんとした文になるのでしょうか?)
But I think that perhaps I'm a beginner most.
It's very windy and cold but sunny in my town.
Everyone, take care yourself because it's cold everyday.
Have a nice day!
- yuko
- 2011年1月27日 11:01
Hi Yuko,
Everyone on this blog was a beginner at some stage, so please don't worry about it. Your sentence should be: I felt a bit relieved because there didn't seem to be many English beginners.
- David
- 2011年1月27日 11:14
Hi Yuko,
Sorry, I didn’t say “hello” to you. I joined this blog last year, I’ve been learning a lot of things from this blog since then, not only English.
Hi David,
Haven’t you got the meaning wrong? Yuko wanted to say, “英語ビギナーの方もいるようなので少しホッとしました。” So your sentence should be:
I felt a bit relieved because there did seem to be many English beginners.
Am I wrong?
- Ling
- 2011年1月27日 13:42
Sorry, I read the Japanese too quickly. It should be "I was relieved to see that there were lots of beginners."
- David
- 2011年1月27日 14:09
Hi everyone
It seems that my comment was rejected last night. I post it again.
Please let me introduce an article that doesn't relate with this topic directly.
The two male Sky Sports presenters left sexist comment to female football referee. Female referees are rare in football.
(If you are interested in full story, access a url below.)
www.guardian.co.uk/global/2011/jan/23/sky-presenters-sexist-remarks-female-official
I was disappointed the fact that such a stupid discrimination still existed.
Then I wondered what if Amy Chua was male. She takes criticism equally?
trmr
- trmr
- 2011年1月27日 22:27
Hi trmr,
That is really big news in the UK at the moment!
- David
- 2011年1月27日 23:08
Hi David,
Sorry, but I am a bit busy so I haven’t got enough time to read about her articles. I just took a look at that you mentioned, and I can’t judge her only that information. But if her children love her and appreciate what she has done for them, that’s enough, her way is not wrong. It doesn’t mean I follow her style. There are a lot of ways of raising children. As I don’t have any children, I can’t think of it for real, though.
Hi trmr,
>I have a question from your feedback.
(the club would provide medical treatment for his disease.)
What does "would" mean in this sentence?
About your question, I am not sure, but it’s easy to think that the present tense first.
Your whole sentence is
FC Barcelona, a big Spanish football club offered his family that if they came to Spain and let the club train him, the club would provide medical treatment for his disease.
So just change to the present tense.
FC Barcelona, a big Spanish football club offers his family that if they come to Spain and let the club train him, the club will provide medical treatment for his disease.
Did you get it? Your sentence is too long, so it might look difficult but see this sentence.
Present> If you want to go, I will go with you.
Past> If you wanted to go, I would go with you.
Sorry, I am not good at grammar, so I can’t explain it well.
Good night and sweet dreams,
amo
- amo
- 2011年1月27日 23:48
I just read the news about Kirishima erupting. I was up there last weekend! I hope I didn't break it...
- David
- 2011年1月28日 10:05
Oh, my goodness!! David, you did that!?
- Jasmín
- 2011年1月28日 11:19
David, when I saw the news on TV, I thought "Oh my goodness, David was there!"
Anne
- Anne
- 2011年1月28日 12:53
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I just realised that I forgot to say "Hi" to Toko-mom. Nice to have you with us.
trmr, here is the feedback on your biography.
Lionel Messi, born in 1987, is an Argentine football player.
(an Argentinian football player)
He usually play as forward or (a) winger. His dribbling always makes opposites confused.
(His dribbling skill often leaves his opponents confused.)
He started to play football in Argentina at (an) early age. Soon he showed his high potential. But because of (a) hormonal abnormality, his body stopped growing. FC Barcelona, Spanish big football club,
(a big Spanish football club)
offered his family that if they came to Spain and let the club train him, the club cured his disease.
(the club would provide medical treatment for his disease.)
They decided to go to Spain. At Barcelona, his disease was perfectly recovered.
(He made a complete recovery.)
And he came to the front soon in the team.
(And he soon rose to join the first team.)
In 2005, he made his debut at Spanish league first division.
(in the first division of the Spanish league.)
After that, he has kept showing outstanding performances and improving football skills.
(Since then, he has continued to develop his skills and give outstanding performances.)
He received a “FIFA baron d'Or” that is a prize for the world best player of the year in 2009, and 2010.
(He was awarded the " ," the prize given to the world's best player, in 2009 and 2010.)
He is now considered a successor of a legendary Argentine player, Diego Maradona.
(He is now considered to be the natural successor of the legendary Argentine player Diego Maradona.)